Life is unpredictable. It is messy, painful, often confusing, and downright unfair. Life is organic and beautiful. It is complicated yet simple. It is full of joy and wonder. Life’s a journey where adventure awaits at every twist and turn.
I started this blog with the hope of finding my tribe. My audience and my voice. I have changed the layout, header, color scheme, my about page and even my mission statement more times than the number of posts I currently have published. I watch more YouTube videos on how to blog than any other topic I’ve researched on YouTube. Content is key…consistency is king…I have heard all the things. I don’t have any degrees and I don’t really know much about hashtags or tag words. I don’t prefer using facebook I have no clue about Twitter. I have a Periscope account but you guessed it…no clues there either.
Basically, I’ve got a ton of cards stacked against me and all the reasons why this shouldn’t work. I don’t post consistently enough and I’m not sure I have a niche, although I’ve heard I need to have one of those too! What I do have is a voice and a passion. I have passion for people and my heart longs to see people walk in freedom. Freedom from pain of their past, freedom from abuse, freedom from depression, and freedom from lies that cloud their mind.
One of the biggest lies I deal with is ~ “I am not heard.”
Wouldn’t you know it, someone created for sharing a message with the world suffers from believing she is never heard. A lie that tells her, she is not regarded or respected, needed or considered. wow. How ironic that the most significantly influential lie you suffer from is often the antithesis of the very destiny and purpose you have been created for. I don’t have a lot of followers and I know my inconsistent posting has not encouraged you to read and follow…certainly I have not yet done a good job encouraging you to interact with the blog.I am writing today to apologize. Which I’m sure some bloggers would say is a big no-no…maybe, maybe not. I’m just here to get real with you. I struggle with being heard. I struggle with encouraging those closest to me. I struggle with seeing the ones I love fail and live in pain. I struggle with believing my worth is determined by the success and happiness of those around me whom I love. I don’t know where this belief system came from, I don’t yet know how to fully change from it; but I do know that I need to release it.
I don’t have all the answers, in fact, I don’t have any answers. I have experiences, ideas and beliefs. My worth is not determined by the success and happiness of those whom I love. My worth is not determined by my answers, advice or opinions. My worth is not determined by whether you take my advice or not. On behalf of my entire life, I come to you now, sincerely and genuinely, I am sorry. I am sorry for all of the times I yelled at you when I wanted to console you. I am sorry for all the times I snapped at you when I wanted to hug you. I am sorry for all the times I said something mean when I wanted to encourage you. I am sorry for all the times I lashed out when I wanted to be heard, appreciated, regarded and considered.
I have alluded to this message in a poem I wrote awhile back, I haven’t changed yet. I have grown, yes, but this pattern still haunts me and the lies still taunt me. The very thing I seek to do and the purpose of this blog is to encourage, equip and empower. Anytime you set out to change the world, be prepared for the change and challenges you will go through. Whatever your goal is, if you are created for it, you will face opposition. Usually an equally opposite opponent. I have been struggling with speaking words that tear down when I want to encourage for a long time. Struggle implies holding onto something. I don’t want to struggle with my words anymore. I want to choose to release my hold on my verbal sword and allow my King to guide my words.
My worth is determined by my King. He leads me so that I can follow. He leads so I don’t have to worry about whether you accept my message or not. He leads so I can plant seeds. He leads so I can water seeds. Maybe someday, when I have done enough planting and watering I too will have the privilege of being led by my King so that I can harvest.
~ A Day in the Life of a Kingdom Wife ~
I want to model authentic communication. I want to share genuine connection. I want to walk with others in their journey of life. Holding their hand as they begin to discover their true purpose and identity. Life is hard. Living the life as a Royal Bride means I have enlisted in the Kingdom Army. Life doesn’t get easier when you take the straight and narrow. But you do find and experience freedom.
Today, I am a little more free. Free to recognize and receive that my worth is not determined by whether or not I am right. My value is not dependant on whether you take my advice, heed my warnings, or even consider my ideas.
My worth and my value are determined by the price my King paid for my life. I have chosen to live a life surrendered. The world will tell you this is weak. The majority will tell you that life with God means you’re in a safe little boat floating down the rivers of living water.
A true Kingdom Wife ~a Kingdom Warrior ~Bride of Royalty, lives life surrendered to her King, trudging up the river, drenched in Living Waters; following His lead.
On this day in the life of a Kingdom Wife, I messed up big time. I allowed the lies to dictate my words and actions. I tried to float on down the river in a safe little boat that I constructed. The boat capsized and my words shot arrows at my beloved husband. After a long day of miscommunication I am now back in the river, trudging up stream, following my King. Feeling a little lighter from releasing my hold ~my will to believe the lies~ I can hold my crown a little higher.
I release the lie that I am not heard. I no longer align with it. I choose to receive the truth that I am valued, significant, considered, appreciated, and highly regarded by my King. I no longer allow my worth to be determined by whether my words are received. I choose to simply follow my King; planting, watering, and someday – harvesting.
I want to leave with you what I am dubbing a Rare Gem. As you gather, ponder, and unpack these gems, you will begin to experience a Royalty As Reality Expedition. I have 3 on my instagram page currently and will continue to share these gems as I am led. My hope is that as you gather these gems you can fill your treasure box, recognizing & receiving your value and worth as a Bride of Royalty.
Rare Gem #4Father God so desires to be with you that He cleanses you for His sake.
We often believe that we are cleansed for our own sake. That we cannot possibly be worth anything because of the baggage that we carry- or carried. We often believe that God cleanses us so that we can receive the reward of heaven. But I challenge this perspective.
The true treasure is that we are His desire. He is rewarded by our choice to surrender our will to His, to enlist in His army, and to follow Him.
“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions, for My own sake, and remembers your sins no more.”
~You are highly regarded, valued, honored and deeply desired by our King~
Rare Gem #4 You are the King’s Treasure